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The Barnyard Commandos - Playmates

Barnyard Commandos toy commercial screenshot


In the late 1980's and early 1990's Playmates created a little-celebrated but fondly-remembered line of action figure toys called the Barnyard Commandos. The Barnyard Commandos were available in one of two competing groups - There were the "RAMS"(Rebel Army of Military Sheep) and the "PORKS"(Platoon of Rebel Killing Swine). Similar to Mattell's version of action figures known as the Food Fighters, the Barnyard Commandos two contingencies didn't see eye to eye, thus necessitating an all-out nuclear war of epic proportions. The backstory was that a group of animals consumed radioactive materials that were left abandoned on their farm by the military, subsequently morphing them into ruthless, military killing machines of the highest intelligence. Or something.

Many children during this era likely have some fond memories of playing with their Barnyard Commandos, if they were cool enough for their parents to buy them for them. The toys line's claim to fame was their vicious appearance, indeed the most vicious that could be found at that time, even though they couldn't be posed or bent as they were made only of hollow, soft plastic. 80's and 90's kids were all about the aesthetics of grimacing faces, tattoos, and eye patches. We drank Barq's root beer just because it came with those awesome temporary tattoos. So what kid wouldn't love to have a tatted-up sheep with a huge rocket launcher perched upon its shoulder? It was great that we had toys that prompted us to use our imagination and creative play skills - In fact, the Barnyard Commandos were just too cool for things like moving parts! Yep, there were no fancy features like posable limbs or bendable joints, just some badass looking barnyard animals made of immovable plastic, just the way God intended. And that's all we needed, dammit! There was no need for batteries or the computer technology of today's toys, as we could play war with our Barnyard Commandos for hours, content with just repeatedly smashing them together repeatedly in mortal combat!

A cartoon based on these toys even hit the airwaves during this time, but the corny Saturday morning show didn't last long (4 episodes). If you happened to be lucky enough for your parents to take you to Burger King back then, you might have come home with a special Barnyard Commandos toy that was included in your Kid's Meal. Score!

If you ever find yourself in a position to purchase any of these Barnyard Commandos toy action figures, you shouldn't pass it up, as they are quite rare thanks to the relatively small amount that were produced (not to mention the fact that they're just totally awesome). The accompanying Barnyard Commandos vehicles were produced during the second series of the toys, and locating these is a true find!


Series 1:

R.A.M.S.:

Sergeant Woolly Pullover

Commodore Fleece Cardigan

Major Legger Mutton

Pilot Fluff Pendleton


P.O.R.K.S.:

General Hamfat Lardo

Private Side O'Bacon

Sergeant Shoat N. Sweet

Captain Tusker Chitlins



Series 2:

R.A.M.S.:

Master Sargent Cornelius Cannonfodder

Private Bull Bellwether

Commander Missiles Muttonchop

Lieutenant Sureshot Shearling


P.O.R.K.S.:

Corporal Hy Ondahog

Staff Sergeant Blaster McBacon

Major Piggyback Gunner

Captain Hogg Wilde


Vehicles:

Bacon Bomber

Pork Chopper

Pork-A-Pult

Ram Tank


Similar toys:

The Food Fighters

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